Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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