I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
