It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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