real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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