Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I lost the right to judge tonight
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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