It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
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