i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Randomize
