i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
This is my gift to your gina
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
