the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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