i was born a porn star she said
you have to choose: penises or morals?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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