My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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