so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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