He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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