i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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