I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
In America we eat man semen.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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