Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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