Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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