Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
