Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
