I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
