she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I fill condoms, not promises.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
