you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
