and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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