we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
