just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
How external is "for external use only"?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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