ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize