You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
