I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
