You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
