Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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