I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
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You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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