just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
