what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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