apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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