i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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