Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
