I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
her vagine was all disorganized.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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