shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
