Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
