you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
