he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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