Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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