So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
