don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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