Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
