I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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