I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
