what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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