ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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