so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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