R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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