I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
