You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
