why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
