Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
