New low: just hacked my moms facebook
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
