so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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