No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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