Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
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Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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