i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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