i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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