I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
