even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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